A Sentimental Society: When Family Members Oppose Swimming Pool Removal
- Nov 26, 2018
- 3 min read
Updated: Mar 22
Over the years, I’ve come to realize that the decision to remove and fill in a swimming pool is often far more personal than homeowners expect. In many cases, there is real opposition from family members when pool removal is discussed—not because the pool is still being used, but because of the memories attached to it.
Children grew up with the swimming pool. It hosted birthday parties, holidays, and summer gatherings. In many families, grandchildren learned to swim in the very same pool their parents once did. A swimming pool isn’t just full of water—it’s full of sentiment and shared history.
When the Pool Is Used Less—but the Attachment Remains
Eventually, most older pools reach a point where usage declines. Homeowners considering inground pool demolition will often tell me:
“The pool has barely been used over the last few years, and the time, cost, and upkeep are starting to outweigh the benefits.”
At that point, I’ll provide a quote to demolish and remove the swimming pool, and the homeowners are usually ready to move forward. But a day or two later, I often receive a follow-up call or email:
“We talked with our kids about filling in the pool. Two of them are fine with it, but our daughter—who lives over an hour away—is adamant about keeping it.”
More often than not, they’ll add that this family member works 60–70 hours a week and has only used the pool once per summer over the last few years. Despite that, emotions take over, and the project gets put on hold.
In my experience, this happens eight times out of ten.
Why Pool Removal Triggers Emotional Pushback
I’m not in the business of telling clients how to manage their family dynamics. My goal in sharing this pattern is to help homeowners anticipate resistance and prepare for it.
Typically, the family member pushing back doesn’t see the pool every day. They’re not looking out the window at an aging structure that requires constant maintenance, repairs, safety concerns, and expense. They’re living their life miles away, and the pool is the last thing on their mind—until they hear it’s about to be removed.
When you say, “We’re demolishing and filling in the pool,” it catches them completely off guard. Many people don’t even realize swimming pool removal is an option. Their reaction is instinctive and emotional, not logical—and that’s normal.
Understanding this psychology can help homeowners approach the conversation more strategically.
A Practical Approach: Tracking Pool Usage
Years ago, we worked with a homeowner in Bethesda, MD who had a pool no one in his family used. His children were pre-teens, and when he told them in early spring that the pool was going to be removed, they were understandably upset.
Rather than argue, he quietly tracked how often the pool was actually used throughout the season. He kept a simple log noting each date the pool was used by anyone in the household.
At the end of the summer, the log showed the pool had been used one time.
When he shared that information with his family, the conversation shifted from emotion to reality—and the pool demolition moved forward shortly after.
Pool Removal Is About Moving Forward—Not Erasing Memories
Removing a swimming pool doesn’t erase the memories created there. It simply reflects the current needs of the household and acknowledges when a pool no longer serves a practical purpose.
We provide professional swimming pool removal and pool demolition services for homeowners throughout:
Maryland: Montgomery County, Maryland, Frederick County, Maryland, Anne Arundel County, Maryland, Howard County, Maryland, Washington County, Maryland, Carroll County, Maryland, and Baltimore County, Maryland
Northern Virginia: Fairfax County, Virginia, Loudoun County, Virginia, and Prince William County, Virginia
Every project is owner-supervised, with careful planning, proper demolition, and correct backfill and compaction—especially important when pool removal is tied to a larger backyard renovation or home sale.
Final Thoughts
If you’re considering inground pool removal and expect resistance from family members, remember: opposition is usually rooted in emotion, not usage. Giving loved ones time, context, and real information often makes the decision clearer for everyone involved.
